


Eight Things You Need To Know About Dead People

by mochocho



Category: Breaking Bad
Genre: Gen, Super angsty, ghost au, no promises that it'll be any good, will update tags as I go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-08-07 05:03:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7701823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mochocho/pseuds/mochocho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are rules that apply to everyone, and then there are the rules that only apply to Jesse.</p><p>(An AU where Jesse can see dead people)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue (jesse's not entirely sure what that word means but it sounds smart)

**Author's Note:**

> This is something that has been stuck in my head for a very long time. I'm putting it up unfinished cause I need a reason to motivate myself to keep writing and actually finish this. Do not be afraid to figuratively kick my ass over the internet if I get lazy it'll be good for me.

Jesse eventually figured out there were rules to these type of things. There were rules that applied to everyone, y’know, like how you can’t skip chemistry too many times without Mr White throwing a tantrum and demanding a _“parent-teacher interview”_ (which basically just involved fifteen minutes worth of lectures Jesse had already heard before and would probably hear over and over until he died). Or how you have to put time and effort and shit into something in order to get good at it, like how Jesse can draw pretty good cause of all the time he spent doing it in class, or how he’s a better meth cook cause it’s part of his routine now.

 

There were those kind of rules and then there were the rules that only applied to Jesse. Why they applied to _him_ specifically was something he hadn’t been able to figure out yet. Maybe he was supposed to be doing something important with his life, maybe he was chosen to like, save the world or some shit like that. Jesse had always liked comic books and superheroes but he didn’t know if he could handle that kind of pressure really. He would probably screw up. It was easier just to not consider it at all.

 

Maybe he was being punished for something. Jesse had done a lot of terrible shit and seen a lot of horrible things but hadn’t done any of that when it had started, he had just been a kid really, who had only thought about smoking weed with his friends or coming up with excuses as to why he wasn’t doing his schoolwork. He hadn’t killed anybody or even cooked any meth at that point. Jesse couldn’t think of what he did to deserve any of this shit. Maybe God (if he even exists) is just a really sadistic dude and he likes to make people miserable. Maybe he’s trying to teach Jesse a lesson, like maybe this is all part of some sort of bigger plan or something.

 

Whatever the reason behind it, it still sucks balls.


	2. Rule #1: You Can Talk To Them, But They Won’t Talk Back (which is probably a good thing)

Victor sits in the backseat of Mike’s car and Jesse can feel his eyes burning holes through the back of his head. The guy doesn’t like him, which had been clear from the very beginning, but it was always kind of subtle, like he knew that Jesse knew but he wasn’t gonna acknowledge it. Jesse had always thought that in different circumstances, they could’ve been friends – they had been around the same age and Jesse assumed they had probably liked some of the same shit too, or at least were dealing with similar things.

 

Victor had helped run a meth operation and Jesse had provided the meth.

 

Victor had Gus and Jesse had Mr White – two older men with sticks up their asses.

 

Victor seemed to respect Mike, and Jesse was finding that he did too.

 

It had literally been a bromance waiting to happen, but then Victor got his throat cut and now he’s kicking the back of Jesse’s chair and Jesse’s wondering why he even bothered to consider it.

 

He waits until Mike is out of the car so it doesn’t look like he’s completely insane.

 

“Fucking _stop that!_ ”

 

Victor’s mouth turned up in a smug smile which vanished when Jesse threw his empty cigarette packet at him.

 

“Yo, I’m serious. Cut it out, it’s pissing me off.”

 

Jesse turned back to face the windscreen and scowled at the yellow-and-brown-everything that was surrounding him. They had driven out to the middle of nowhere, desert stretching for miles on either side of the road, just so Mike can go out and dig something out of some hole in the ground and not tell Jesse what it is. It wasn’t like he particularly wanted to be back in the lab with Mr White but at least in there he could actually move around and do shit. Here he just sat in the front seat all day, with lame music on the radio and Victor kicking him with so much enthusiasm that if you didn’t know better you would think it was Jesse who killed him.

 

Well.

 

To be fair, he did have something to do with it.

 

Jesse ignored the twinges of guilt in his stomach, closing his eyes and focusing on how the thick heat of the sun through the window warmed his face and he _definitely_ didn’t think about Gale.

 

* * *

 

“Shit!”

 

Jesse must’ve fallen asleep at some point because he was jolted awake by another hard kick to his lower back. He turned in his seat, ready to give Victor another piece of his mind but the man had already disappeared and Mike was back in the driver’s seat, with his hands on the wheel and one eyebrow raised.

 

“You alright there, kid?”

 

They were back on the road again, in a different part of the desert that looked exactly the same, and Jesse rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he tried to think of something to say.

 

“Uh, yeah.” He replied lamely and Mike snorted.

 

“How long was I asleep?”

 

“About half an hour.”

 

“Huh.”

 

Jesse found the bottle of water that had been rolling around by his feet and skulled half of it, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. They were quiet for a little while, the only sound the crunching of the wheels on gravel road and the soft crooning of the radio, before Mike spoke suddenly.

 

“You know, Victor and I were quite close.”

 

It was like Mike seemed to know everything that went on, including what was happening in his car while he was away and Jesse took another sip of water before answering. “Really?”

 

“Yeah. I actually didn’t like the kid when I first met him. I was only following orders when I took him out on the road with me but he surprised me. Like you.” Mike chuckled and Jesse found he couldn’t look at him. “He probably wasn’t as… impulsive as you are, but he could’ve certainly out-talked you when he wanted to. And he had a good sense of humor.”

 

Despite the tight knot of guilt in his chest, Jesse couldn’t help the snort he made at that and Mike’s smile briefly got wider before it disappeared completely.

 

“He was very intelligent, though, kid. He knew there were risks in this business. What happened… well, he probably saw it coming.”

 

Mike got all quiet with those words. Jesse could see Victor looking at him in the rear-view mirror but he refused to meet his eyes.

 

Jesse cleared his throat. “Yo, why’re you…”

 

“You were mumbling his name in your sleep, kid. Figured you’d had him on your mind.” Mike cleared his throat. “I just wanted you to know that it wasn’t your fault.”

 

“Yeah, but-”

 

“Don’t be a stubborn little shit.” Mike told him, and so Jesse dropped the subject. He still thought about it a lot though, over the next couple of weeks. Victor had stopped kicking Jesse’s chair but he was still in the backseat and constantly on the back of Jesse’s mind.

 

He wasn’t sure whether Victor would take it very well, but the aching in his chest had only gotten worse and despite what Mike had said, Jesse knew that yeah, it kind of was a little bit his fault. So when Mike was out of the car next he reached for his packet of cigarettes with slightly shaky hands and went for it.

 

“I’m really sorry, man.”

 

Victor raised an eyebrow and Jesse felt himself turn red but he slowly and deliberately focused on pulling a smoke out of the packet as well as not looking Victor in the eye, and continued.

 

“What happened to you was, uh… pretty shit, you know, you didn’t deserve it.”

 

Victor rolled his eyes while staring out the backseat window, but gave Jesse a small nod of acknowledgment, and it was kind of encouraging.

 

“I did a really stupid thing and you ended up paying for it. Well, I mean, I was just trying to save Mr White’s dumb ass but still…” Jesse fumbled around for his lighter. “It was stupid.”

 

He frowned when Victor met his eyes and nodded again, much more enthusiastically.

 

“Yeah, okay, you don’t have to rub it in.”

 

Victor started shaking with with silent laughter and suddenly Jesse was laughing too, even though it really wasn’t that funny. Victor even covered Jesse’s ass a few minutes later by snatching the lighter out of his hands so Mike didn’t see him trying to smoke in his car and Jesse felt that maybe they had finally reached an understanding.

 

The kicking, of course, started up again straight after that.


	3. Rule #2: They Usually Don’t Know You Can See Them Unless You’re Being Really Obvious About It (and of course, jesse is not exactly the master of stealth or anything)

Krazy-8 still hangs around his basement from time to time and Jesse had been _really_ careful so far not to let him know that he knew because that would… well, you know, it wouldn’t be a good thing, that’s all he’s saying. Jesse hadn’t seen Emilio since the RV had been destroyed (he had seemed to have had a bit of a fixation with it like Krazy-8 did with Jesse’s basement) and Jesse’s starting to think that maybe he won’t be coming back at all. They had been friends, and Jesse hopes – even though this sounds gay as fuck – that maybe Emilio’s finally found some sort of peace.

 

In the days following Gale’s murder, Jesse had spent every spare second he had mentally preparing himself for the inevitable moment where he would see Gale again. He wasn’t sleeping properly at night cause he was too busy thinking about it, the anxiety raging in his chest and the urge to use again getting stronger every passing minute. It took all his courage to get out of bed and go to the lab every morning and even then, he was on edge the whole time, expecting Gale to be around every corner, to be standing there every time he turned around. It certainly didn’t help that Mr. White was stressed to the max, completely convinced they were going to die at Gus’s hands any second and Jesse was kinda feeling like if he did anything even slightly wrong, the man would have a full-on nervous breakdown. Jesse didn’t think he had the strength to deal with that too, on top of everything else that was going on.

 

It wasn’t like he hadn’t dealt with similar situations before – being forced to see any dead person at all, really, kinda sucked – but Jesse knew that this was different, he had shot this guy in cold blood. He was scared he’d freak the fuck out and have like, a panic attack or something, or he’d start blabbing on about how he sees dead people without realizing and Mr White would have to check him in to the mental hospital. Jesse wasn’t exactly the smartest guy in the world but he knew better than to start spreading around the news about his ‘psychic powers’ or whatever the hell they were because although there’s the chance that he might make loads of cash off it and get his own TV show, it’s probably more likely he’ll just get locked up in a cell and get a needle stuck in his eye like Jessica Lange did in that movie he watched with Ginny that one time.

 

Despite all his preparations, he didn’t realize how much of an effect Gale’s presence would have on him until he actually saw him. In a very weird way, it was almost a relief to walk into the lab one day and see Gale sitting right there in front of him, wearing the same clothes as when he died and staring wistfully at Mr White from across the room (honestly the dude was so gay for him). It meant Jesse wouldn’t be going over and over in his head every day about what it might feel like, because now he knew for sure. It was like someone had stabbed him in the chest and was twisting the knife in. He felt dizzy, almost like alarms were going off in his head and he had the vague thought that maybe he should leave before he threw up all over the floor, because Mr White would probably be pissed about that, but it was like his body couldn’t catch up to his brain cause he was just standing there staring at Gale and now Gale was staring back at him. Thankfully, there was no sign of the bullet wound on the man’s face where Jesse had shot him but for some reason it was still all Jesse could see.

 

“Excuse me,” He choked out, managing to get to the bathroom before he threw up his breakfast. He retched until there was nothing left and then he just sat there for a minute or two, taking ragged breaths and trying to put his thoughts back in order. He ignored Mr White’s banging on the door and mumbled some sort of excuse that made him go away, probably giving him the impression he was hung over or still getting over a drug binge of some sort but that was preferable to and probably a lot more believable than the truth. It was probably a testimony to Jesse’s current mental state that he didn’t even react when Mr White called him an ‘idiotic junkie imbecile’ before storming off.

 

At that moment, he would’ve rather be called an idiot over and over again than be back out there with Gale. He closed his eyes and just stayed where it was safe, letting Mr White start the cook by himself.

 

* * *

 

 

Of course, his little display hadn’t exactly been subtle and it had made it really fucking obvious to Gale that Jesse was able to see him. For the rest of the cook, the man never once took his eyes off Jesse and to put it very mildly, it didn’t exactly help ease his nerves. Neither did his dick of a partner who tried giving him a lecture about running off that morning on three separate occasions throughout the day as well as getting really pissy at him every time Jesse made a small mistake or didn’t do something fast enough. Normally it would just be annoying but it turned out to be a fucking nightmare when you’re already stressed as fuck. Jesse went home in a rough mood, wanting nothing more than to forget absolutely everything.

 

It had been easy to find people to come over and party with him; it had been even easier to steal a little of the meth Mr White and himself had cooked as a bit of an incentive. Lying on his bed listening to the thumping music and the wild laughter of his drugged-up ‘guests’ below him, Jesse unsuccessfully tried to sort through his feelings and then when that didn’t work, he finished off the rest of his beer and tried to forget about them instead.

 

Meeting Gale’s eyes from across the room didn’t really help with that.

 

“So you thought you’d follow me home too, huh?” He tried to make the words sound scornful but it just came out kind of miserable and pathetic. Gale shrugged, his eyes downcast and his expression almost apprehensive. Jesse sat up and leaned against his bed-frame, pulling his knees up to his chest, trying to curl up tight enough to disappear. They just looked at each other again like last time, except in the lab it had been shocking and painful and now it was just depressing.

 

“Aren’t you angry with me?” Jesse’s voice cracked on the last word.

 

Gale shook his head. Jesse didn’t realize he was crying until the man gently placed the box of tissues from his desk onto the end of his bed but he ignored them. Something burning and painful flared up inside him and Jesse clenched his jaw, his heart beating hard in his chest. He sat up straighter and stared intently at the man in front of him.

 

“Yo, I shot you!” He shouted. “You _should_ be angry!”

 

Again, Gale shook his head and for some reason the only thing he could think to do in order to get the strange mixture of pain and bewilderment and disbelief out of his head was to throw his own head back and let out a loud laugh.  Gale gave him an odd look but before he could react properly to the abrupt change in Jesse’s temperament, Jesse’s laughter had already dissolved into sobs.

 

He buried his face in his hands and he cried and cried and cried. Jesse hadn’t really let himself break down properly since Gale’s death, instead choosing to keep his mind distracted with something else, _anything_ else, and he didn’t know why it was _this_ that made him break, out of all of the things that could’ve done it, it was fucking Gale shaking his stupid fucking head. Jesse had thought he was stronger than that, but _no_ , apparently not! He almost felt cheated, in a way. If he had to break down at some point, it should’ve been for something actually worth crying over, like dead puppies or… maybe someone’s cancer coming back. At least then he could understand it.

 

All the stress and pain and grief that he had bottled up had come bursting out at once and he didn’t even have the space in his head to be embarrassed or self-conscious, because there were too many other feelings fighting to take over and he didn’t think it was even physically possible to feel even _more_ than what he was already feeling, it was so much and he would probably explode or like, die-

 

Gale was staring at him, but not in a judgemental way like Jesse would’ve expected. He just looked… dejected. He didn’t understand why the guy wasn’t angry. _He_ was angry – with himself, with Mr White, with Gus, even with the man standing right in front of him. He had fucking shot the guy and still, he won’t even get a _little bit_ pissed off. If Jesse were the one to have been pointlessly shot by some random junkie, he would’ve been at their house haunting their asses and smashing all their stuff and pretty much making their lives a living hell. But Gale, he was just standing there, looking all sad and shit. Not even sad for himself either, but _sad for Jesse._

 

“Get the fuck out of my house, Gale.”

 

Jesse’s voice was rough and bitter and Gale should’ve understood that Jesse was upset, too upset to talk and that he _meant_ it when he told Gale to get out, he _really_ couldn’t hold it together – but Gale’s mouth formed into a hard line and for the third time that night, he shook his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The movie that Jesse was referencing is 'Frances' with Jessica Lange. It doesn't seem like a Jesse kind of movie but it felt like an Aunt Ginny one.
> 
> Also, hope you enjoyed!


End file.
